Appledystopia: Independent Technology News

Online Dating: Automated Systemic Racism

updated by Chand Bellur
January 16, 2023 at 12:53 p.m.
  • More than 32 million Americans used online dating apps in 2020.
  • The online dating pool is gender-imbalanced, with up to a 9:1 male to female ratio in some regions.
  • Publications such as NPR, Rolling Stone, Wired, and others contend racism in online dating is a serious problem, with some apps enabling this behavior.
  • Social science experiments reveal that, given profiles of different ethnicities, women choose white men 97% of the time.
  • The experiments reveal that Asian and South Asian women, in particular, are entirely unwilling to date non-white men.

Online Dating Grows in Popularity

Despite the plethora of hiking photos on Instagram feeds and dating profiles, most people don’t get out much. If you go out to a bar on a Friday night, you’ll most likely see a pathetic cadre of drunk, middle-aged men drowning their sorrows and loneliness in drink. The one possibly datable woman came to the bar with her husband for a night out.

If this sounds familiar, it may be why so many have turned to online dating. A recent study shows that 39% of couples met online. While this may seem like a lot, it also means that 61% met through other means. In other words, your chances of meeting someone in real life are almost twice as high as finding an online match.

Although real life is still your best bet to find a match, online dating is more popular than ever. The same study reveals that only 22% of couples met online back in 2009. It took about a decade of various specialized dating apps to almost double online dating participation.

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Most Dissatisfied with Online Dating 

Online dating hasn’t gone viral, and it never will. Instead, it’s more of a revolving door of dissatisfied and desperate participants, with few real connections. If you’re the right type, you’ll meet a match quickly and delete the app with satisfaction. A small percentage of the most desirable use these apps for hookups and philandery.

For all others, it’s a long process of swiping and messaging with extremely flakey people and dating those who lie about their appearance, education, career, and other aspects of their life. After too many of these experiences, people stop online dating out of frustration and disappointment.

According to market research, only 48% of participants are satisfied with online dating. That’s an abysmal satisfaction rate. Any other business that engenders such dissatisfaction would fail spectacularly. Online dating takes advantage of loneliness and desperation — the fact that the mass media tells us we all need someone in our lives.

Also, some platforms feign engagement in a ploy to encourage premium subscriptions. With the high cost of dating subscriptions, some as high as $50 a month, these companies are raking it in, for now. Eventually, like a virus, it will cycle through humanity until we’re immune to the deception.

Trends show that online dating is flourishing, but its growth is more like a disease that spreads rapidly until it runs its course. We’re near the peak of online dating. As it disappoints most people, reliance on online matchmaking fades away. Some may get re-infected with the online dating bug, but they heal themselves by abandoning these apps faster than before.

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Massive Gender Imbalance in Online Dating

App reviews and online research reveal the most disappointing aspect of online dating. Many men don’t receive any messages when searching for love online. Although women are often reluctant to take the initiative, it’s mainly due to the skewed male-to-female ratio, which in some regions is as high as 9:1. This means that for every nine men, there’s only one woman.

When I attempted online dating, I did a little better than average. I’m tall, fit, educated, and well-off, yet biracial. For every 100 women I swiped on, I would message with about ten and meet one in person. I wasn’t thrilled with any of these matches. They were a huge step down from the women I met in real life.

Online dating sets up men for desperation. Any sort of engagement is so rare and thrilling that it’s easy to end up dating someone you’d never consider otherwise. It’s a phenomenon of supply and demand. After a few bad dates and horrible relationships, I decided online dating is not for me.

Imagine if you’re short, obese, uneducated, and poor. Most American men don’t meet Hollywood’s expectations of what a man should be. Unless they excel at manipulating women through photographs, they won’t get a single message unless they’re white. In the online dating world, a fair complexion can be more beneficial than an MIT degree.

OkCupid Study Reveals Rampant Racism in Online Dating

People tend to behave differently when no one is looking. For example, most are reluctant to pick their noses when in public. They may dig away at their nostrils or perform other unsavory actions in private. Humans are animals. The only difference is that our consciousness also gives us the ability to believe we’re better than we really are.

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Research shows that American women of all races vastly prefer white men in online dating. In his book, Dataclysm, OkCupid co-founder Christian Rudder unveils this preference, in addition to other clandestine human tendencies and behaviors.

One of the most popular dating apps, OkCupid is also a data powerhouse. Users complete countless surveys, producing a match score for potential partners. They can also rate users overall. According to Rudder, Asian men are rated the lowest, often scoring one to two points lower (out of five) than white men. Black and Latinx men face similar assessments. Once again, the data show that white men are favored overall.

It’s important to note that men engage in similar behavior. OkCupid’s data also reveal that black women are about as valued as Asian men. However, with so few women participating in online dating, it’s fair to assume that the most desirable women don’t use the technology at all.

The Quartz Media study of online dating found the same thing. It concluded that all women vastly prefer white men in online dating. In real life, the same preferences exist. Even in supposedly liberal San Francisco, if you go out to a bar or club, most women are interested in white men. As they become fewer in number, their scarcity makes them more valuable, not less.

Qualitative Experiments Reveal Women Vastly Prefer White Men

Freakonomics experimented with racial profiling of resumes. They created two fictional resumes. One was superior to the other, but the candidate had a typically black name — “DeShawn”. The other candidate had what one would consider a white person’s name. They sent the resumes out to numerous employers. No one wanted to hire DeShawn, although he had a superior resume. The experiment reveals pervasive systemic racism in our nation.

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Most employers don’t marry or share their lives with employees. In fact, there’s a sort of master/servant relationship, which should minimize race in selections. If a manager hires a black employee, he or she is a subordinate. Given bigotry with hiring and systemic racism in America, online dating surely must be worse. It is. After all, if employers don’t want to hire black men, imagine how difficult it is for men of color to find love.

Numerous publications, from NPR to Rolling Stone report on racism in online dating. Black and Asian men suffer the most from online dating discrimination. Based on a study of interracial messaging in dating apps, the chart below shows that men of color often get no engagement whatsoever.

image credit: NPR

One of my associates ran some ad-hoc experiments with multiple online dating apps. He conducted the experiments in different cities in California, using fictional profiles of differing ethnicities. All profiles used photos of male models taken from online apparel websites. They’re what most people would consider attractive representatives of each race.

The experiments tabulated the number of matches and messages for each profile, in addition to some more qualitative analysis. For example, to test the theory that women prefer white men because of their personalities, the white profile was rude, abrasive, and bashful (not at the same time). When men of color employed similar conversational tactics, they were all banned within two to twenty-four hours. For this reason, the study minimized such interactions to keep the non-white profiles in play.

The results of the experiments are as unsettling as Freakonomics’ discovery. American women don’t just have a preference for white men. It’s more that, at least online, white men are pretty much the only choice.

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Much like the infamous Milgram experiment, where people “shocked” a remote victim on the behest of a false authority figure, we see a similar occurrence. Minority men are ignored instead of being shocked. Perhaps, if electrocution were an option, that would be a frequent occurrence. In the current reality, women ignore men of color unless they get too “uppity”. In that case, their account gets deleted.

White Men Get 97% of Matches and 93% of Messages

The experiments revealed shocking results — 97% of the matches went to white men. The Asian profile didn’t get one match or message. He was entirely invisible to women. The South Asian and Arab profiles similarly didn’t get a single match or message. The black profile obtained 2% of matches, with the Latinx man receiving only 1%.

Messaging was a little different. It appears that progressive women will engage men of color in minimal conversations. The South Asian and Arab profiles got one or two messages, with most non-white messages going to black and Latinx men. As previously noted, the Asian man didn’t get one single message. As other publications have noted, Asian men face the most discrimination with online dating.

White Profile Tolerated More Than Others

My friend talked with some women about the experiment and mentioned that women justify their preference for white men. They say they’re more confident and outgoing and claim they treat women better than men of color. To test this, the different profiles interacted unfavorably with women.

Prince Harry's sob story reveals white men's lack of confidence.
White men are confident? This guy “wrote” a massive pity story about how hard it is to be a prince. Boo f**king hoo. Try being a non-white man in a white supremacist world — one his family helped create. Try being a non-white man with a 95th percentile SAT score who’s considered garbage everywhere he goes because of media stereotypes. Try living in a country populated mostly with people from starving and ignorant European and Irish peasant lineages who couldn’t grow a potato, but now consider themselves superior to everyone else. I wouldn’t wipe my a** with this book. I’d probably get herpes. He’s clearly not white. His skin color is herpetic. He looks like a groomed herpes sore.

Not surprisingly, men of color faced permanent bans for interactions that women found charming and flirtatious with the white profile. Women tolerated the white profile’s rudeness or social ineptitude. In one case, the fictitious white profile was overtly racist to a black woman, who still wanted to date him. The white profile’s arrogance, racism, misogyny, fat-shaming, and overall dismissive attitudes only increased interest in most cases. Many women found it adorable.

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Herpetic is the new white. It looks like two herpes sores in an embrace. Many women swoon over Prince Harry, despite his lack of confidence, hair, and status. “He’s on the telly!”

The same was not true of men of color. Any negative comment would see the profile banned, often in less than two hours. Moderators don’t view every message. It’s the women who report offensive messages to moderators who take further actions. These dating apps aren’t surveilling every message. Men of color get banned online for small transgressions, while white men can treat women poorly, gaining several matches.

This is the story of real royalty with exceptionally high moral standards. It’s the account of a war that happened about 8000 years ago. Beyond morality, this epic shows that Indians invented 90% of everything in the world. While ancient Indians wore the finest clothes and fabricated tools, utensils, and weapons with metal, their white counterparts were wearing animal skins and used sticks and stones for tools. My experience in the Silicon Valley showed me that we perfected the other 10%. King Bharat would have never let Charles or William succeed him. He didn’t let his own son replace him because he felt he didn’t have merit. Instead, Bharat appointed a successor outside of his family because he believed in merit. That’s something absent from the modern world. Between white privilege and affirmative action, there’s little merit in the United States.

Women poured their hearts and souls out to the rude or dismissive white man over long text messages. I’ve never seen women put forth so much effort in online dating! If anything, poor treatment of women worked in his favor.

My friend tried very hard to get the white profile banned. In the end, he had to resort to exceptionally politically incorrect messaging to be banned. It took about a month of hard work to get Mr. White permanently removed.

Banning minorities more than white users is nothing new to the app world. ProPublica found that Facebook is more likely to restrict political speech from black users, while avoiding moderation of white supremacy. It’s all around us, and it’s obvious to men of color. About half of our nation still pretends this is just a paranoid delusion, perhaps because it works out well for them.

Asian and South Asian Women Most Unwilling to Date Men of Color

The notion that women of color are sympathetic to racial issues and are, therefore, inclined to date non-white men is fundamentally false. Instead, they seek to “marry up”. It’s a phenomenon that social scientists label “hypergamy”

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Is he handsome, or is it just that he’s in movies? Asian American hip hop artist Audrey Nuna expresses her fondness for Leonardo DiCaprio. Her music, which is of African American origin, shows how some are comfortable appropriating a culture and mutating it into visceral white supremacy. The music video for this song shows the young artist associating solely with white people. Eminem is the most successful hip-hop artist of all time, nom sayin? Ending white supremacy starts with appreciating originators over imitators. Cultural appropriation is simply adding insult to injury.

In my personal experience, I’ve lived in a part of the SF Bay Area that’s 75% Asian, yet only dated one Asian woman in my entire life. After a few weeks, she dumped me for a white guy who popped up on her dating app.

I’ve worked with countless South Asians in the software industry. I’m half Indian, but I’ve never dated an Indian woman in my life. I got close once, a few months ago, but her overt racism forced me to end communications.

Hypergamy is a real thing. It’s come to the point that I no longer waste time persuing Asian and South Asian women. Racism often creates racism, but this is a rational practice based on statistics and experience. Why waste time pursuing women who only desire white men?

Anecdotally, the most racist woman I met online was an Indian woman. Early in our messaging, she expressed contempt for a black co-worker, who she felt benefitted from affirmative action.

As our communications progressed, she told me things like “there’s no such thing as an attractive black person” and “I could watch movies starring Chinese men all day, I still wouldn’t find them attractive”.

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I told her that I have dated black women and that there are attractive and decent people in every race. She told me I am just fooled by political correctness because no black person is beautiful or admirable. I promptly discontinued communications after those statements.

An inferiority complex is the root cause of hypergamy. Due to systemic racism and a white supremacist media, non-white women become conditioned to accept whites as superior. Hollywood reinforces this with virtually every movie and TV show. Non-white women, made to feel subordinate by mass media and American culture, can only improve their situation by partnering with a white man.

This isn’t an inclination or predisposition. It’s an iron-clad law, like the laws of physics. Asian and South Asian women only want to partner up with white men. Unless they’re beholden to an arranged marriage, they will settle down with a white man.

If you’re not white, it makes sense to look elsewhere. This is not racism. It’s a reaction to racism. It’s about making the best out of this horrible reality.

Progressive Women Also Unwilling to Date Men of Color

Yoga (as stretching exercises), BLM, veganism, socialism, spirituality, Machu Picchu selfies, and pop-psychology adorn their profiles; however, progressive women didn’t fare well in dating experiments or real life. Next to Asian and South Asian women, progressive white women are the least likely to engage non-white men in online dating. Progressive women of color seem to exclusively associate and partner with white men. Outside of photo ops, the most radical women of color in Congress seek refuge in their white husbands and partners.

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image credit: BBC

Although motives aren’t clear, it may be that progressive women employ a magnanimous façade to cover up their true desire for white men. My associate took screenshots of profile photos and found a sort of “brown washing” technique used by clandestinely racist “progressives”. The ones who preferred white men and ignored all others had profile photos with non-white friends. Perhaps they’ve been accused of being racist and use this as a way to diffuse any criticism? They reject men of color reflexively and hide behind progressive values and an old photo of their minority “friend”.

image credit: The Oprah Magazine

Hypocrisy seems part and parcel of American life. We start wars and occupy nations, claiming to deliver freedom. We see it in the philandering religious leaders who tell us to obey them like obedient little lambs. We see it with politicians who decry socialism, only to provide handouts for corporate cronies while millions of Americans starve.

Ilhan Omar With Husband Tim Mynett
image credit: @lennybendavid;   They really tried to keep this on the DL because Ilhan Omar was having an affair with her current husband while still married. Now that they’re married, you see very few photos of them together because this super-radical, anti-white-supremacist, progressive Democrat loves white c**k. It’s like seeing Modi eat a cheeseburger. It’s like Malcolm X going down on William F. Buckley, Jr. They seem to have a lot in common, as both seem to be infected with mumps. Best wishes for a speedy recovery. I thought they would be vaccinated, but that’s probably another aspect of liberal hypocrisy.

American progressive women’s racism should surprise no one. They may misappropriate fake yoga and tacos from other cultures, but when it comes time to make important life decisions about partners, white is right, every time!

image credit: wagpolitics;   I actually want to thank this fellow for marrying her. Someone had to. Ug. It’s interesting that the most progressive and liberal POC members of Congress seem to really love white c**k, especially if it’s old and no one else wants it.
Stephanie Murphy and Hubby
image credit: Orange Observer;   Living in San Francisco for almost 30 years, I’ve noticed Asian women have their type. They like white men that no other women are interested in. If they can’t find that, they get a dog. Asian man? Latinx man? Black man? No way. She doesn’t have to worry about her hubby going astray. He looks like Seth McFarlane’s creepy cousin.

White Moderate Women Are The Least Racist

If you’re non-white and determined to use online dating to find a match, your best bet is a politically moderate white woman. This demographic still prefers white men more than any other race. However, they are some of the few willing to message and date black and Latinx men. Asian, South Asian, and Arab men are still invisible to all women, including moderate white women.

Conservative white women, much like progressives and non-white women, will only communicate and match with white men. This should be of no surprise, with right-wing leadership branding non-white men as thugs and foreign invaders set on defiling “their women”.

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Latinx and Black women preferred some men of their corresponding ethnic background. Overwhelmingly, they too preferred white men.

It remains unclear why moderate white women are most likely to date non-white men. Jewish women comprise the subgroup of moderate white women most willing to date non-white men. It may also be that moderates aren’t as interested in the media as their conservative and progressive sisters. Absent of media brainwashing, perhaps they form attractions based on real-life experiences as opposed to vicarious engagement with romantic comedies and other idealistic representations of relationships.

Some Apps Are More Racist Than Others

If you’re non-white and a glutton for punishment, you may still want to try online dating. Some dating apps are more racist than others. You’ll do best by avoiding apps that disallow men from sending messages or enable women to filter potential matches based on race.

Bumble is the worst dating app for men of color. Since men aren’t allowed to send messages and instead must wait for a woman to start a conversation, men of color usually don’t get any interest on the popular dating platform. Furthermore, Bumble, backed by tech entrepreneur Andrey Andreev, has white supremacy baked into its platform.

Bumble’s history reveals misogyny, sexual harassment, and racism within the company. The company tries to counter this past with token measures — donations to civil rights causes, diverse in-app content, and diversity pledges. Still, the company fails to practice what it preaches.

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Forbes published a lengthy exposé about Bumble last year, highlighting its sanctimonious nature. While the company projects a progressive, feminist, and racially-tolerant image, it’s rotten to the core:

“Andreev would complain when he saw too many dark faces on the app—he believed it lowered the value of the brand and made it look cheap, says a former employee who worked on marketing campaigns. “Andrey was always making it clear that white was better,” says the former high-ranking executive. “If someone were to arrive a little bit late to the office and they were Latino or African, he would make comments like, ‘Well, what can you expect,’ as if people who were not white were not hardworking.”

Bumble “founder” Whitney Wolfe Herd is trying to distance herself from Andreev and Bumble’s toxic work culture; however, the tech billionaire is fundamental to the company’s success:

“But Bumble is as much Andreev’s baby as Wolfe Herd’s, and she acknowledges him as her founding partner. It was Andreev who reached out to Wolfe Herd shortly after the lawsuit, suggesting they collaborate. It was Andreev, Wolfe Herd underscores, who pushed for a woman-driven dating app (on Bumble, the woman makes the first move), rather than the social network Wolfe Herd initially proposed. It was Andreev who put up the money, becoming majority owner (he still owns between 59% and 79%, to Wolfe Herd’s 20%).”

Bumble’s progressive values seem to mask its true self. By only allowing women to engage men in conversations, men of color are entirely invisible. Given the company’s white supremacist origins, it seems to be part and parcel of the dating platform. If you look on the App Store or Google Play, you’ll see a screenshot of a black man matching with a white women. Boom! It’s completely contrived! It’s a smokescreen to cover up Bumble’s built-in mechanisms for enabling racism. It’s about as genuine as “arbeit macht frei”.

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image credit: Google Play

Beyond the racism, Bumble’s founder clearly didn’t develop ideas for the dating app independently. Bumble is a complete rip off of Tinder, with a few small tweaks that Wolfe Herd didn’t conceive. Andreev pushed for women making the first move, perhaps because this prevents too many “dark faces” from disturbing all of the lovely “bees”. Bumble is not only racist; its feminism is a sham, as Wolfe Herd is a mere figurehead, with a man developing and backing the idea. Andreev still has the largest stake in the company, but to make Bumble more appealing to women, Wolfe Herd serves as a nonentity.

Other dating sites offer the ability to screen potential matches based on race, for the bigot with little free time. Although more dating platforms are removing these features for better optics, some of the biggest apps refuse to change. Match still has race filters, as does OkCupid and Hinge. With numerous dating apps, and more coming, it’s challenging to compile a comprehensive list. If you see racial filters in the app, assume women will use them to exclude men of color.

Ethnic dating apps, such as, Indian Cupid, and Asian Cupid are also poor destinations for men of color. These platforms cater to non-white women looking for white men. Their creators realized that Asian and South Asian women, in particular, vastly prefer white men and built portals just for them. These apps charge far more than others, but it’s like fishing in a barrel for white men. They’re more than willing to pay higher subscription costs for the certainty of meeting women who are interested in white men of any shape, class, or intellectual capability.

Why You Shouldn’t Pay for Online Dating Subscriptions

We’ve looked at how online dating automates systemic racism. If all of the disparagements and myths about men of color weren’t enough, technology makes it even easier to marginalize male minorities. Before, we were at least visible, late at night, on the street. With online dating, we’re visible for a nanosecond before a white supremacist reflex swipes us off the screen for good.

Given the racism in online dating, why would you pay these exorbitant subscription fees to subsidize white supremacy? You might as well pay dues at the local white-hooded organization. Even many white men may find this racism upsetting and refuse to participate.

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The sad truth is, you can pay all of the subscription fees and get every boost and benefit they sell. At the end of the day, most women on online dating platforms don’t want to date non-white men.

Instead of spending a few hundred dollars on premium dating services, why not spend the money elsewhere? Go out to bars or nightclubs with that money. Spend those funds on a recreational class or nearby excursion, where you’re more likely to meet a decent, outgoing human being capable of participating in society.

In one year of online dating, I spent about $7000 on app subscriptions, dinners, dating activities, mileage, and other expenses. I wasted hundreds of hours. The women I met were the worst I have ever known. Don’t do it!!!

Why You Shouldn’t Use Online Dating

Anyone can use most online dating platforms for free, but with limitations. If you’re non-white, it doesn’t matter whether you pay or not. You’ll get the same results, so it’s best not to waste your money funding automated systemic racism.

Using online dating apps for free may seem tempting. After all, every user account costs them money, as they must maintain data center operations. Using dating apps without paying for them, perhaps just for self-amusement, is a great way to stick it to the man — the racist man who has shut you out of the dating pool but pretends like you actually have a chance. There are better things to do than waste time with online dating, however. Every minute you spend searching for a match is a minute lost in the real world.

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I can also say that the women I met online are horrible. Given the highly skewed male to female ratio, one can correctly conclude that most women don’t seek men online. In my experience, the women I met online are victims of betrayal, looking to take out their frustrations on any man. I dated three women who were already dating someone. They used me to get their indecisive white man, with so many options, to commit. I dated two women who surround themselves with men to upset their ex-husbands. They don’t want him back. They just want to torment him.

In all of my time with online dating, I didn’t meet one decent human being. They’re not online. If an attractive woman needs to go online to meet a man, chances are, there’s either something deeply wrong with her, or she’s looking for someone to use. In either event, this is a waste of time, effort, and money.

I once drove 90 miles, twice, for dates with a woman who used me to make her illiterate, tattooed, Venice Beach hipster boyfriend jealous. On the first date, she needed to make sure I didn’t lie about my appearance. The second date, where we hiked along a path that went right behind her house, was to parade me in front of her jobless, poorly-educated, tattooed hipster, to make him jealous. They deserve each other!

Yes, the women online really are that bad if you’re non-white. If they’re interested in you, it’s most likely just to use you, as white men are often upset by men of color dating “their” women. It’s a sure-fire way to get their beloved, in-demand, white man to commit.

As we’ve seen, many online dating platforms factor white supremacy into their designs. In the case of Bumble, its chief architect is a white supremacist, and it permeates every aspect of the app, regardless of progressive screenshots in the App Store. Others employ racial filters or cater to specific ethnicities’ desire to match with white men.

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Online dating is automated, systemic racism. It legitimizes white supremacy, allowing women to nonchalantly swipe all of the “inferiors” out of the way, as race becomes the sole characteristic of a high-quality match.

If You Prefer Online Dating, Appear as White as Possible

If you plan on continuing with online dating, as a man of color, the best you can do is appear as white as possible. In my case, my ethnicity is ambiguous. I can pass for white, but most women ask me what my ethnicity is. (Men rarely ask me this!) Many American women are adept at sniffing out non-whiteness and attributing vague, negative cultural stereotypes to men of color.

On my final attempt at online dating, I changed my name from “Chand” to “Chandler” and claimed I was a direct descendent of swarthy former US president Ulysses S. Grant. That put to rest most questions of my ethnicity, as with many “white” people, Grant had a darker complexion and thick beard. If asked, I said I’m outdoors a lot, so I have a tan, which is true. Of course, I didn’t mention that I slather myself with SPF 55 to ensure that I don’t look too dark for our racist society.

This profile has done better than any others, but I have no interest in dating online basket cases. Most women aren’t looking for love, likes, relationships, or friends. They have other intentions than finding a partner — revenge, financial support, and alleviation of boredom.

Although I got way more messages by depicting myself as a white man, I didn’t want to go forward with any of the matches out of disgust. I saw many of the same women who rejected me and forgot me, match with me and become quite chatty.

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When I was half Indian, I was invisible. When I became white, they finally saw me. Some of them poured out their souls to me over long text messages. The fact that these women rejected me until I framed myself as a white man disgusts me. I simply cannot date anyone I meet online anymore.

My father was a Brahmin intellectual with a Ph.D. He’s smarter than the vast majority of white people in America, many of whom are descendants of refugees from European and Irish famines. It makes me sick that I had to hide my ethnicity, which I’m quite proud of, to meet women online. It’s disgusting that they consider me to be a low-quality person because of my ethnicity.

In every measure — net worth, education, and personal fitness — I’m superior to 99% of Americans. Nonetheless, anyone with a GED and white skin feels superior to me. Some even claim to be part of European and British intellectual culture, even though they didn’t finish high school! After all, they have the same skin color as Shakespeare and Chaucer.

The entire online dating culture is rotten to the core, with systemic racism far worse than any alt-right organization. A white supremacist would likely date an attractive black woman, after all, and even use it to claim he’s not racist. Some of the highest-profile alt-right leaders do this to avoid criticism while dominating their non-white spouses. After much research and experimentation, I can only conclude that most American women are profoundly racist.

Hollywood is the Root Cause of Systemic Racism

For decades, Hollywood and the American mass media put forth white supremacist content. White men are the definitive, go-to heroes and romantic interests for casting directors and writers. Men of color are villains, terrorists, criminals, and undesirables. How many romantic comedies feature an Asian leading man? Once in a while, a movie oriented toward black audiences depicts a man of color as attractive. Perhaps this is why they get at least some interest in online dating.

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UCLA’s annual Hollywood Diversity Report reveals that, although the culture is changing and diverse casts earn more at the box office, white men still dominate the media. Women’s preference for white men is primarily due to their depiction as heroes and romantic leads. Women want Dr. McDreamy, not Dr. Agarwal or Dr. Chang. It’s still rare to see an Indian man cast as a doctor, but the reality is quite different, where South Asians dominate the medical profession. It’s similarly rare to see a South Asian software engineer in the mass media, although we’re ubiquitous. No, the Hollywood hacker is usually a thin, hipster white guy.

Beyond Hollywood, social media gives people more of what they want. Women who like looking at photos of muscular white men with tattoos get more of the same. Social media also feeds the alt-right, breeding more hate than ever before. At their essence, dating apps are social media, further cementing their role as regulators and purveyors of a deplorable, racist culture that’s growing like a cancer.

We can change reality by changing mass media. The Korean pop group BTS is changing the way women feel about Asian men and masculinity. One reason why most women of my generation prefer white men is because every boy band and romantic lead is white. They grow up believing only white men are attractive because this is all they see.

When I communicated with a racist South Asian woman I met online, I told her that mass media shapes attraction for most people. She told me that she could watch videos of Chinese men all day, and she would never be attracted to one.

Girls growing up with crushes on BTS will likely have no problem dating Asian men in the future. In fact, they will prefer them. This middle-aged, racist Indian woman who grew up in an insolated San Joaquin Valley Sikh community will always choose white men. It’s how she was brought up, and, for her, this is immutable. She asked about my ethnicity within 5 minutes of meeting me.

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I met this woman online and discovered she’s a racist. She claims that mass media does not influence her preference for white men. She says they’re just the best looking men, and Hollywood has nothing to do with it. Nonetheless, she kneels before Johnny Depp’s star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. What a great guy he turned out to be! It doesn’t matter. Epidermal fetishists only care about skin color. Her preference for white men and her vegan diet were both influenced by mass media. Like many American women, particularly in rural and suburban settings, she’s influenced and controlled by mass media.

One of her profile photos even showed her kneeling on Johnny Depp’s Hollywood star. She’s the epitome of media-forged racism yet denies it vociferously. She’s so in love with her Hollywood crush — a well-known wife-beater — that it’s one of the few photos she shares with the world.

She’s not the only online profile with photos of her Hollywood crush. Sifting through thousands of profiles, I saw women kissing cardboard cutouts of Ryan Gossling and Photoshopping their way into other romcom realities. It appears that most American women form attraction based on mass media exposure.

Growing up in a tiny world, this almost-40-year-old woman still lives with her parents because single women cannot live alone in her culture. Shaped by popular television and film, her American experience, superimposed on strict, foreign cultural norms, sentences her to a lifetime of limited options.

Hip hop portrays black men as thugs and criminals. Yes, black men have a place in American culture, but it’s only for a specific type that reinforces negative stereotypes. It’s rare to see black men portrayed as responsible professionals in American mass media.

Women who grow up in small, isolated towns tend to prefer white men more than educated women raised in large, progressive cities like New York and Chicago. Cultured, cosmopolitan women read literature, watch foreign and art films, and avoid mass media banalities. They don’t succumb to mass media brainwashing because they live full lives in culturally rich environments. They’re not watching Sleepless in Seattle for the umpteenth time while shoving cookie dough in their faces.

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In my own experience, I fare best with women from both metropolitan areas. This is because mass media dominates suburban and rural American culture. If you’re non-white, you’ll do much better in San Francisco than Bakersfield because women grow up solely on mass media in suburban regions.

Unfortunately, San Francisco, with its large population of Asian women, doesn’t qualify as a racially tolerant city. It has the appearance of progressivity, but Asian women don’t date non-white men. In over two decades of living in the Bay Area, I never dated one Asian woman. The only Asian woman I dated is from Bakersfield, and she quickly found a white man to replace me.

Better Ways to Meet People

Online dating, an extension of social media, is determined to reinforce white supremacy. In the case of apps like Bumble, white supremacy is woven into the design, as men of color are completely silenced and marginalized. Information about its founders reveals that racism is part of Bumble’s design. Other apps allow users to filter potential matches by race. If these features don’t exist, women will just use photos to swipe white.

When I was on a date with a woman I met online, we walked past a small art gallery on the way back to my car. Inside the art gallery, a group of art students participated in a fun painting class. I noticed that the women were attractive — like none I have seen online. That’s where they’re hiding! Right in the open. There was only one male student, and he was definitely not a mass media übermensch. Nonetheless, the women were practically fawning over this young man. I admired his genius!

If you want to find a quality partner, ditch the dating app. The worst people go online. The good ones see it for what it is and delete the apps. Take a fun class, go to a bar, take your dog to the park. All of these activities will yield better matches than online dating.

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Online dating apps work best for womanizers. Although all white men have better odds in online dating, the more desirable ones can use women for pleasure and quickly dump them. This happens a lot, and it makes women angry. Instead of looking for love, many of them seek revenge against any man. Often, if they’re looking for a man to hate, they’ll seek out a minority man.

Let me close by telling you about the worst date I ever had. I met a woman on Bumble, and we messaged for a week, and it all seemed to go well. We made plans for breakfast on Saturday morning. I texted her on Saturday to make sure the date was still on before I drove 20 miles, and she texted back that I seem really desperate. Although the date was her idea, it oddly shifted into some desperate act on my behalf. I should have heeded this warning, but I was simply baffled. Perhaps she wasn’t a morning person?

Upon being seated for breakfast, this woman unleashed a torrent of pent-up anger from her ex-husband. She married her personal trainer, and he controlled her diet and workouts for over a decade. Despite spending ten hours a week at the gym, she was clinically obese. She told me she no longer follows the strict diet and workout regimen imposed by her ex.

I’m in excellent shape, with low body fat. I run 3 miles in less than 21 minutes. To her, I was the second incarnation of her ex-husband, even though we have radically different personalities. He seemed to be some sort of narcissitic sociopath, which is par for the course with many athletic white men.

For about an hour, she berated me for being too thin. She told me how unattractive thin men are and that most women want a man with a little “meat” on them. She informed me that most women think six-pack abs are disgusting. I was trying not to laugh at her pathetic attempt to knock me down.

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I resisted the temptation to point out that she’s obese because I’m a decent human being. Her photos were old and misleading, but I remained polite. After all, I understood that she is mentally ill. It’s her fault she married the narcissistic white muscle man and let him dominate her for a decade. This is a familiar pattern with women I met online.

She took out her poor life choices on me. These are the types of women you’ll encounter online. Bumble, with its fake feminism, seems to attract the angriest women in search of revenge. If you do decide to participate in online dating, Bumble is the worst option, by far.

The woman’s disparaging comments didn’t bother me, and I played it cool. This seemed to enrage her even more. The people at the next table started rubbernecking at this train-wreck of a human being. She only embarrassed herself.

She revealed what a poor quality human being she is. She fell for the white muscle man, he treated her poorly, but she still can’t get away from him. The damage is permanent, crippling, and she seeks to spread this anger rather than addressing it. That’s true white power. It destroys everything in its path, much like Christopher Columbus or Andrew Jackson. Do you still want to download that dating app?


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